Friday, September 22, 2006

You women are gonna hate me...

Ok, here's a little story about Joe:

Joe, after quitting T-ball in 3/4th grade, didn't really get a lot of exercise.

About 7th grade, Joe starts finding out he needs Large shirts.

There was a basketball league in high school.

Some Karate in 10th grade for a couple of years.

Then, he joined a gym about the 2nd year of jr. college.

Finally, some definition appeared on his body. Things were looking good.

Joe finds out he needs XL shirts.

Then Joe met Carrie. Joe was in love, and (foolishly) thought she was too.

While Joe and Carrie went to the gym together, they didn't spend as much time there, because they were too busy hanging out with each other.

So Joe goes to University, and cancels his gym membership.

Being an engineer, he can't spend as much time at the free on-school gym as he'd like.

While Joe is swelling down in muscle size, he's noticing that there is some flab appearing on the body. Not a good thing.

Joe graduates college, and, after a year of unemployment, finally works for NAVSEA.

A year later, having paid off his car a year early, he decides to re-join the gym he was at in Jr. College (Yes, he was living at home again at this point).

Having been a flabby-body, it is hard to work it off, especially with all of mom's good cookin' available to him.

So, early this year, Joe moves out. He gets a place in Santa Barbara.

He's still buying XL shirts because, hey...he's still XL, right?

After living on Yogurt and Vegatables for about six months, and rigorous workouts, Joe accidently made a discovery today when trying on some old clothes:

Joe can fit in MEDIUM shirts now.

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

New freedom in the Chinese marketplace...

You have the freedom to be monitored by students. That's right...the government is paying students to monitor forums and report people who aren't towing the party (pardon the pun) line.

Sweet jebus on a's 1984, but in China. These people are reporting the "Spies of Goldstein" in forums.

And if that wasn't bad enough, now the Chinese media is telling foreign press what they can and can't report.

In unrelated news, China has become a haven for fuzzy bunnies and rainbows. Tiananmen Square never happened. And Taiwan is part of the mainland China. And Tibet too.

Nope, everything is perfect in China. As long as you belong to $Official_State_Religon, you'll be ok, I guess.

Sunday, September 10, 2006

Welcome to the US...

Here's the breakdown: using a series of laws that you and I will NEVER have to learn, the visiting Iranian ex-president has been sued by a group of Iranian Jews who allege that his policies were the cause of their relatives' dissapearence and torture.

The article goes on to say that they had the suit all ready to go, and had to wait until he was physically in the US to serve it. It also says it was personally served to him.

I would pay big money to see that on youtube/video google.

Folks, Abu Gharab was a frat prank.

If you want to see real torturers in action, watch American trial lawyers.

Give them an opportunity and a profit motive, and I'll bet Saddam would curl up into a fetal position and ask for death by piano wire.

Personally, I'm inclined to let them have their way with this waste of oxygen.

You think the Bush Administration is going to do anything?

I hope not.

Ok, I'm out.

Saturday, September 02, 2006

Interesting stuff...

Well, Al Zahawri and his Californian buddy have invited all Americans to join Islam. You know, I'd like to see what would happen if the DoD just wrote them and said, "ok". How could they justify bombing us then? Mind you, I'm not talking about actually converting. Just give them a momentary bit of confusion. Kind of like when you used to play tug of war, and the other team would just let go. Threw you off balance, didn't it?

In other news, here's a very sad story, and can help explain why I am anti-union:

*ahem* Canadian Soldier dies.

Town Canadian soldier was in finds out on a Saturday

Town Canadian soldier was in wants to lower the flags half mast.

None of the unionized workers were in, as by union rules, they had the day off.

So, a Councillor comes in on his off hours to do it himself.

Union files a grievance, as raising and lowering the flag is a union job