So, Tabitha and I have been in pre-married class at Church On The Way. It's a good course, intended to shake out the details that most married couples hit as roadblocks only after many years in.
However, as part of the class, there are homework assignments, CDs, and classes. The homework assignments, when taken seriously, take a long time to complete, as it gives each person a chance to talk about themselves, their backgrounds, their viewpoints, etc.
The CDs are a 10-part series put together by Jack Hayford, talking about Marriage in a Christian context, and have been very illuminating.
The problem is that the only time we have to listen to the CDs is on our way back and forth from LA every weekend.
So, for the past 12 weeks, our drive times have been quiet, listening to taped sermons.
It was kind of weird being in a small enclosed space with someone you wanted to talk with and not able to talk with them.
It started causing problems when we would schedule something else that would infringe on our small "together" time. I found myself upset, as it seemed that any of the "alone" time we had was taken up with either quietly listening to the CDs in a car, or doing homework. There was never any time spent to just talk with Tab and enjoy her company. Between the CDs, homework, classes, gym, work, going back home, planning a wedding, it seems like there was never any time to "just be".
We finally finished the CDs this past weekend, and can now talk on our drives.
Wow...it's like I get to spend time with Tab again after not seeing her for so long.
And yup, I still love her.
144 days, six hours, 44 minutes and 15 seconds...14...13...12...11...
Monday, March 16, 2009
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Should these go together?
Sometimes, Google News can put together very unfortunate pictures with a news article. Here is one I saw that made me smile:
That's good eats!
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Re-Discovery...
What is it about a second look? When someone changes themselves only slightly, and you see them again and rediscover something you've known, but had completely forgotten?
The familiar suddenly becomes exciting again. Things you accepted at face value suddenly gain a dimension to them. Whether a passage of Scripture that you've read time and time again gaining a new freshness due to personal circumstances, or seeing someone in a different light because of a seemingly small change in yourself or them.
All this to say: Tab wore a skirt today. Wow. Just...wow.
The familiar suddenly becomes exciting again. Things you accepted at face value suddenly gain a dimension to them. Whether a passage of Scripture that you've read time and time again gaining a new freshness due to personal circumstances, or seeing someone in a different light because of a seemingly small change in yourself or them.
All this to say: Tab wore a skirt today. Wow. Just...wow.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Memory triggers...
While going through looking at the new Starcraft II (Which looks like it is going to be so very much full of win), I came across a recording of the zealot from Starcraft...
Let me back up...in Starcraft, when you click on a unit, it will utter one of a handful of phrases. I think it is to allow you to use hearing to confirm that you have selected the unit you wanted to, which can be difficult in a crowded screen. for instance, the dropship confirms that he's ok, and ready to fly with "In the pipe, 5 by 5", SCVs respond with a cheerful, "SCV Here! Where do you need me?", etc.
So, getting back to the present, while reading up on it, I found a new video. Amongst the sayings was one from the Protoss Zealot. One of his "phrases" was, "My Life for Aiur" (pronounced "Aye-er"). Aiur being the home planet of this fictitious character.
It took me back.
You see, back in the day, I used to have LAN parties regularly. We would crash someone's house (Typically my parents, Paul's Parents, and later, Paul's), bring our computers, and enjoy each other's company while we blew things away late into the night (leading to mornings and afternoons again), until we just couldn't physically keep our eyes open.
Well, while in a caffeine-fueled fragging session at 2AM, pretty much anything is silly. So, when playing starcraft, the zealot uttered his usual catchphrase: "My Life for Aiur". John, ever the thoughtful one, said, "Wow, it sounds like he said, 'My Wife for Hire'".
We broke out in a fit of giggles.
Hearing it again, it got me thinking...so many memories.
I remember fitting seven people in my room and John's "annex".
This was before flat-panels.
We had monitor precariously perched on every spot on the desk we could find space. The heat in the room was overwhelming. John didn't have it too bad because he had stone floor, and could open a window. But my room, the 1 air vent with no return from my room, calibrated to a thermostat set in the living room, and two small doors with no airflow, usually got the room to a temperature reserved for saunas and heat lamp interrogations.
While playing Counterstrike (the original, mind you), Alvin, who was getting shafted, turned to Matt and said, "How sad is this? It's a Friday night, and we're playing video games with a bunch of guys?"
Of course, this is the same Alvin that, at another LAN party, this time at Pauls Parent's house, realized that Todd Afshar was nearby. After inviting him down, Alvin hung up the phone and said, "Todd says 'lube up, I'm coming over'". IIRC, that was the LAN party that had Paul, John, Sheasby, Dereck, Alvin, Todd, and myself, all at the Laufer's place.
I also remember Steven Harriton (aka "munchiebutt"), playing us at Starcraft. You see, we were recreational gamers with all games. Steven was ok at Counterstrike, but when it came to Starcraft, he was just sick.
At one time, he took on all three of us (Paul, John, and myself), and humiliated, nay, violated us. He even came down to my parent's place to play the night he proposed to Amy because, "I knew that if I stayed there, bad things could happen".
I remember when we had high speed internet in the dorms, and set up the IKYN Counterstrike Clan (IKYN stands for "I KILLS YOU NOW!!!!!!"). John (aka [IKYN]Phantom), unfortunately, was trying to play on a 33.6 modem. He tried, but usually was just too laggy to compete on our server. EXCEPT for the one time he got a headshot on [IKYN]Uranus during a practice session. Nobody except Paul and I knew what an absolutely awesome thing it was. I was soooo proud of my little brother...
Life moves on I suppose. I'm even more of a casual gamer than I used to be. I've gotten into other things. Friends, girls (or, more accurately, "girl"), VHDL, Phone re-flashing, etc.
But it is amazing how quickly a simple phrase can take you back.
"My Life for Aiur"
*giggle*
Let me back up...in Starcraft, when you click on a unit, it will utter one of a handful of phrases. I think it is to allow you to use hearing to confirm that you have selected the unit you wanted to, which can be difficult in a crowded screen. for instance, the dropship confirms that he's ok, and ready to fly with "In the pipe, 5 by 5", SCVs respond with a cheerful, "SCV Here! Where do you need me?", etc.
So, getting back to the present, while reading up on it, I found a new video. Amongst the sayings was one from the Protoss Zealot. One of his "phrases" was, "My Life for Aiur" (pronounced "Aye-er"). Aiur being the home planet of this fictitious character.
It took me back.
You see, back in the day, I used to have LAN parties regularly. We would crash someone's house (Typically my parents, Paul's Parents, and later, Paul's), bring our computers, and enjoy each other's company while we blew things away late into the night (leading to mornings and afternoons again), until we just couldn't physically keep our eyes open.
Well, while in a caffeine-fueled fragging session at 2AM, pretty much anything is silly. So, when playing starcraft, the zealot uttered his usual catchphrase: "My Life for Aiur". John, ever the thoughtful one, said, "Wow, it sounds like he said, 'My Wife for Hire'".
We broke out in a fit of giggles.
Hearing it again, it got me thinking...so many memories.
I remember fitting seven people in my room and John's "annex".
This was before flat-panels.
We had monitor precariously perched on every spot on the desk we could find space. The heat in the room was overwhelming. John didn't have it too bad because he had stone floor, and could open a window. But my room, the 1 air vent with no return from my room, calibrated to a thermostat set in the living room, and two small doors with no airflow, usually got the room to a temperature reserved for saunas and heat lamp interrogations.
While playing Counterstrike (the original, mind you), Alvin, who was getting shafted, turned to Matt and said, "How sad is this? It's a Friday night, and we're playing video games with a bunch of guys?"
Of course, this is the same Alvin that, at another LAN party, this time at Pauls Parent's house, realized that Todd Afshar was nearby. After inviting him down, Alvin hung up the phone and said, "Todd says 'lube up, I'm coming over'". IIRC, that was the LAN party that had Paul, John, Sheasby, Dereck, Alvin, Todd, and myself, all at the Laufer's place.
I also remember Steven Harriton (aka "munchiebutt"), playing us at Starcraft. You see, we were recreational gamers with all games. Steven was ok at Counterstrike, but when it came to Starcraft, he was just sick.
At one time, he took on all three of us (Paul, John, and myself), and humiliated, nay, violated us. He even came down to my parent's place to play the night he proposed to Amy because, "I knew that if I stayed there, bad things could happen".
I remember when we had high speed internet in the dorms, and set up the IKYN Counterstrike Clan (IKYN stands for "I KILLS YOU NOW!!!!!!"). John (aka [IKYN]Phantom), unfortunately, was trying to play on a 33.6 modem. He tried, but usually was just too laggy to compete on our server. EXCEPT for the one time he got a headshot on [IKYN]Uranus during a practice session. Nobody except Paul and I knew what an absolutely awesome thing it was. I was soooo proud of my little brother...
Life moves on I suppose. I'm even more of a casual gamer than I used to be. I've gotten into other things. Friends, girls (or, more accurately, "girl"), VHDL, Phone re-flashing, etc.
But it is amazing how quickly a simple phrase can take you back.
"My Life for Aiur"
*giggle*
Monday, January 19, 2009
Love and all the scariness it entails...
Today I had a rather important lesson in the difference between knowledge and realization.
As with anyone who has been single for awhile, I've gotten into a rhythm of dating. It's almost imperceptible how it creeps up on someone: cautiously, almost mechanically, trying to find out if any of the dealbreakers in previous relationships can be found in your current interest.
As has not happened in quite some time, when a certain level of comfort and interest is attained, you begin to have thoughts that this is the one, so you start to entertain that idea, going about the relationship, evaluating your interaction at a deeper level, thinking, "this is cool now, but can I deal with this the rest of my life?"
Not to say that emotions and feelings aren't there, but previous dating disasters have taught you not to get hopeful. Years of dating have diminished the expectations of this relationship to the point that that the initial response is to dread the other foot dropping, something horrible to be discovered, and for it to all come unraveled. (Hey, I have a sense of pattern recognition, after all)
So, up to about two months ago, it's been a period of me keeping myself in reserve, waiting to see what will or will not happen, knowing that, on paper, Tab holds all the qualities I'm looking forward to.
I was reflecting on this yesterday in the middle of a BORING meeting (seriously...hold a staff meeting only if there is something to go over with ALL the staff.)
Something broke. I am looking forward to being with Tab. The thought of being married, not just in general, but specifically to her, is one that excites me. I finally realize just how much I have based my happiness on her well-being.
And it wasn't anything overnight. No big "Ok! I Care a lot now!" moment. Only the realization that that point had been reached.
I don't know how long that has been the case, only that I am there now.
It's amazing how you can harden your heart for years and not realize how calloused you have become. It's also weird to realize the extent to which one person can become so emotionally ingrained without you being entirely aware of the process. You women are weird.
After a lifetime of being either alone or unsure about the girls I've dated, I've finally met a girl that I can put all of my effort into. She inspires me with her drive, perplexes me with her whimsical nature, challenges me with her point of view, and shows me, without telling me, where I need to grow.
We both do realize that nothing is set in stone, and things could end at any given moment for any reason, but right now I feel happy and cautiously optimistic.
As with anyone who has been single for awhile, I've gotten into a rhythm of dating. It's almost imperceptible how it creeps up on someone: cautiously, almost mechanically, trying to find out if any of the dealbreakers in previous relationships can be found in your current interest.
As has not happened in quite some time, when a certain level of comfort and interest is attained, you begin to have thoughts that this is the one, so you start to entertain that idea, going about the relationship, evaluating your interaction at a deeper level, thinking, "this is cool now, but can I deal with this the rest of my life?"
Not to say that emotions and feelings aren't there, but previous dating disasters have taught you not to get hopeful. Years of dating have diminished the expectations of this relationship to the point that that the initial response is to dread the other foot dropping, something horrible to be discovered, and for it to all come unraveled. (Hey, I have a sense of pattern recognition, after all)
So, up to about two months ago, it's been a period of me keeping myself in reserve, waiting to see what will or will not happen, knowing that, on paper, Tab holds all the qualities I'm looking forward to.
I was reflecting on this yesterday in the middle of a BORING meeting (seriously...hold a staff meeting only if there is something to go over with ALL the staff.)
Something broke. I am looking forward to being with Tab. The thought of being married, not just in general, but specifically to her, is one that excites me. I finally realize just how much I have based my happiness on her well-being.
And it wasn't anything overnight. No big "Ok! I Care a lot now!" moment. Only the realization that that point had been reached.
I don't know how long that has been the case, only that I am there now.
It's amazing how you can harden your heart for years and not realize how calloused you have become. It's also weird to realize the extent to which one person can become so emotionally ingrained without you being entirely aware of the process. You women are weird.
After a lifetime of being either alone or unsure about the girls I've dated, I've finally met a girl that I can put all of my effort into. She inspires me with her drive, perplexes me with her whimsical nature, challenges me with her point of view, and shows me, without telling me, where I need to grow.
We both do realize that nothing is set in stone, and things could end at any given moment for any reason, but right now I feel happy and cautiously optimistic.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Reminders of the past...
This past weekend, I had a chance to re-connect with an old friend from High School that I haven't seen in 15 years, save a brief howdie in 1999.
Jason and I literally kept talking until 1:45 in the morning. Talking with him, I began to miss those days, and I couldn't figure it out. On the drive home, it hit me: It was the friendships.
There is something about being in a large cluster of friends everyday without much in the way of formality.
I remember being in a large group of friends in High school group, Jr. High, going to Camp Cedar Crest and hanging out, being crazy, and being free to be goofy with one another.
Dating usually meant you brought someone into your group of friends.
Nobody was really really dating seriously at that time (get real people), so the concept of isolation from one's friends because of a dating relationship was usually a sign of a high maintenance relationship that wasn't going to last summer or college separation.
Talking to Jason, I began to realize that the way he included people was the formation of my current desire to include people in everything I do.
But, most importantly, some of the pain of my arrival to Santa Barbara began to come into focus.
The part I miss most from High School times is the lack of pretense in relationships. The ability to simply be one's self around other people, and not put up an act to keep people from possibly being uncomfortable with so much personal knowledge of each other; Being transparent to friends you could trust implicitly, because you hadn't learned, or needed, to put up guards.
Every year for the past few years, I make a trek up to Stanford around Christmas-time to visit another old friend. I look forward to it all year, but it has always been more than just a chance to unwind. Talking with Jason, the reason became clear: I could be myself. This other friend (now married to a lovely young lady, equally as friendly) is much the same. There is no need to hide, put up barriers, etc. This is someone with whom I can be my silly, goofy self with, and there hasn't been a need to keep them at arm's length. I can be silly, goofy, and vulnerable without having to worry about being hurt.
At a wedding yesterday with Tab, I realized the extent that I had emotionally not allowed her words and actions to affect me, keeping her at arm's reach internally, despite her earnestly seeking me out. Interacting with her at the reception, now armed with this renaissance viewpoint, I think I fell in love with her a little more. I could be in real trouble here. :)
Side note: In talking with Jason I found out I unwittingly embarrassed him at a High School outing in front of a girl he was very interested in at the time. Evidently, it was so thorough that he didn't stand a chance. He can finally laugh about it now. I had no idea. Oops.
Jason and I literally kept talking until 1:45 in the morning. Talking with him, I began to miss those days, and I couldn't figure it out. On the drive home, it hit me: It was the friendships.
There is something about being in a large cluster of friends everyday without much in the way of formality.
I remember being in a large group of friends in High school group, Jr. High, going to Camp Cedar Crest and hanging out, being crazy, and being free to be goofy with one another.
Dating usually meant you brought someone into your group of friends.
Nobody was really really dating seriously at that time (get real people), so the concept of isolation from one's friends because of a dating relationship was usually a sign of a high maintenance relationship that wasn't going to last summer or college separation.
Talking to Jason, I began to realize that the way he included people was the formation of my current desire to include people in everything I do.
But, most importantly, some of the pain of my arrival to Santa Barbara began to come into focus.
The part I miss most from High School times is the lack of pretense in relationships. The ability to simply be one's self around other people, and not put up an act to keep people from possibly being uncomfortable with so much personal knowledge of each other; Being transparent to friends you could trust implicitly, because you hadn't learned, or needed, to put up guards.
Every year for the past few years, I make a trek up to Stanford around Christmas-time to visit another old friend. I look forward to it all year, but it has always been more than just a chance to unwind. Talking with Jason, the reason became clear: I could be myself. This other friend (now married to a lovely young lady, equally as friendly) is much the same. There is no need to hide, put up barriers, etc. This is someone with whom I can be my silly, goofy self with, and there hasn't been a need to keep them at arm's length. I can be silly, goofy, and vulnerable without having to worry about being hurt.
At a wedding yesterday with Tab, I realized the extent that I had emotionally not allowed her words and actions to affect me, keeping her at arm's reach internally, despite her earnestly seeking me out. Interacting with her at the reception, now armed with this renaissance viewpoint, I think I fell in love with her a little more. I could be in real trouble here. :)
Side note: In talking with Jason I found out I unwittingly embarrassed him at a High School outing in front of a girl he was very interested in at the time. Evidently, it was so thorough that he didn't stand a chance. He can finally laugh about it now. I had no idea. Oops.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Reflection on warnings from the past...
Last night, I finally got a chance to watch a film I've been meaning to see for awhile now, Downfall.
It chronicles the final moments of Adolf Hitler and his immediate advisers in the final moments of the Führerbunker. It is taken from a wide variety of sources, including his secretary, Trudl Junge, whose interview takes place right before the start of the movie.
An amazing performance by all involved. In reading up on the background of the film, they address the touchy subject of making a movie where Adolph Hitler is not portrayed as a raving, screaming, larger-than-life evil madman at all times. He is being portrayed as being kind to his dog, kind to his soon-to-be wife, etc.
He is portrayed as being almost resigned to carry out his extermination of the jews and betrayal of the protection of the German people as part of the "laws of nature", with the weaker being destroyed by the stronger, and thus not fit to live in his vision of a rebuilt Germany.
It's amazing that those who don't want history to repeat itself demand he be portrayed as someone with no balance. They want to see a characterization of him as someone who was vicious all the time towards everything he touched.
This is dangerous because it leaves others to wonder why anybody would follow such an obviously deranged character. They then carry on their lives feeling themselves immune to such shenanigans because they are under the mistaken notion that anyone that evil will be as easy to spot as movie villains.
I realized that in order to learn the lessons of the past, you have to take all sides of the man. One reviewer put it succinctly: "We know from all accounts that he was a very charming man —a man who managed to seduce a whole people into barbarism."
Please don't get me wrong. He was an evil, evil, evil man, and I don't advocate anything of his means, or his ends. Sun Tzu said in "The Art Of War" that: "It is said that if you know your enemies and know yourself, you will not be imperiled in a hundred battles"
What jumped out at me, however, was the amount of hero worship that everyone displayed. Even until the end, people were blindly putting their Hope in him, waiting for him to pull off a Change They Could Believe In that would save Berlin, save Germany, and save his vision of a third Reich.
The message of the movie seemed to say that blindly following someone simply because they seem inspirational is dangerous, and can send you down some really bad paths you won't realize until it's too late.
It's a good thing that we here in the US don't suffer from that at all.
It chronicles the final moments of Adolf Hitler and his immediate advisers in the final moments of the Führerbunker. It is taken from a wide variety of sources, including his secretary, Trudl Junge, whose interview takes place right before the start of the movie.
An amazing performance by all involved. In reading up on the background of the film, they address the touchy subject of making a movie where Adolph Hitler is not portrayed as a raving, screaming, larger-than-life evil madman at all times. He is being portrayed as being kind to his dog, kind to his soon-to-be wife, etc.
He is portrayed as being almost resigned to carry out his extermination of the jews and betrayal of the protection of the German people as part of the "laws of nature", with the weaker being destroyed by the stronger, and thus not fit to live in his vision of a rebuilt Germany.
It's amazing that those who don't want history to repeat itself demand he be portrayed as someone with no balance. They want to see a characterization of him as someone who was vicious all the time towards everything he touched.
This is dangerous because it leaves others to wonder why anybody would follow such an obviously deranged character. They then carry on their lives feeling themselves immune to such shenanigans because they are under the mistaken notion that anyone that evil will be as easy to spot as movie villains.
I realized that in order to learn the lessons of the past, you have to take all sides of the man. One reviewer put it succinctly: "We know from all accounts that he was a very charming man —a man who managed to seduce a whole people into barbarism."
Please don't get me wrong. He was an evil, evil, evil man, and I don't advocate anything of his means, or his ends. Sun Tzu said in "The Art Of War" that: "It is said that if you know your enemies and know yourself, you will not be imperiled in a hundred battles"
What jumped out at me, however, was the amount of hero worship that everyone displayed. Even until the end, people were blindly putting their Hope in him, waiting for him to pull off a Change They Could Believe In that would save Berlin, save Germany, and save his vision of a third Reich.
The message of the movie seemed to say that blindly following someone simply because they seem inspirational is dangerous, and can send you down some really bad paths you won't realize until it's too late.
It's a good thing that we here in the US don't suffer from that at all.
Monday, November 17, 2008
Fire update...
So it turns out Tab's house pulled through fine. One wall in the living room was damaged (we haven't surveyed it yet).
Evidently, a bush caught fire right outside the place. According to her roommate, Tab's other roommate kept the door unlocked, so the firemen were able to make entry to the house and clean the fire. Which makes me wonder if there is now water damage to the house.
Which isn't bad, because Tab kept a lot of her chick flicks in the living room. (hee hee hee)
After travelling to LA to get away from the fire, we stayed at my parent's place in Woodland Hills, which was directly downwind from the Sylmar fire (too far away to be in harm's way, unless you count smoke inhalation), we had to travel to Costa Mesa on the 405 (going through the cloud created by the Palos Verdes fire), and later to Azusa (Corona Fire cloud).
Joe's All-Socal Fire tour is done for the year. Our monthly intake of Carbon Monoxide is complete, thankyouverymuch.
All of our clothes smell like we have been at CPAC bonfires for a month. My clean clothes, which hadn't been anywhere near any of the fires smell like smoke from association in my trunk.
Thank you for everyone who prayed for Tab. From the description of the damage, it would appear that all her possessions everything came through ok, except for the possibility of smoke smell.
Evidently, a bush caught fire right outside the place. According to her roommate, Tab's other roommate kept the door unlocked, so the firemen were able to make entry to the house and clean the fire. Which makes me wonder if there is now water damage to the house.
Which isn't bad, because Tab kept a lot of her chick flicks in the living room. (hee hee hee)
After travelling to LA to get away from the fire, we stayed at my parent's place in Woodland Hills, which was directly downwind from the Sylmar fire (too far away to be in harm's way, unless you count smoke inhalation), we had to travel to Costa Mesa on the 405 (going through the cloud created by the Palos Verdes fire), and later to Azusa (Corona Fire cloud).
Joe's All-Socal Fire tour is done for the year. Our monthly intake of Carbon Monoxide is complete, thankyouverymuch.
All of our clothes smell like we have been at CPAC bonfires for a month. My clean clothes, which hadn't been anywhere near any of the fires smell like smoke from association in my trunk.
Thank you for everyone who prayed for Tab. From the description of the damage, it would appear that all her possessions everything came through ok, except for the possibility of smoke smell.
Friday, November 14, 2008
Incidental heroes, and hopeful re-beginnings...
(Originally sent out in the wee hours of 14NOV08, then re-tooled to correct an erroneous assumption we had made due to the house being pelted with live embers.)
Soooo.....tonight has been more eventful than I had originally planned, with circumstances too contrived to be anything but divine timing.
After an exceedingly dull day at work. (UML....whee?) I was scheduled to go running with Tabitha and Mike Beck. Sooo, we are driving down to SBCC, when I notice a wildfire kinda close to where I estimate Mike Beck's house to be.
So I give him a call.
He re-assures me in his "Don't worry, I've got the situation well in hand" way that I am so terribly jealous of, that the fire is way far away from his place.
After we park at SBCC ten minutes early, I get a second call, with him telling me that after seeing the fire, he's kinda worried himself (vindication!!!), and that he's going to run up to his place and make sure.
So, the two of us are sitting in my car, Tabitha bored waiting for Mike, and suggesting that maybe we should start the run or at least stretch out before he got there, when I think about where the fire is in relationship to Tab's home.
I called my brother and Derek, but neither of them could get to the phone. I called Justin. He was in SLO, and hadn't heard about it at all. Finally, I get ahold of Sanford. I asked if he was in front of a computer.
Then I remembered who I was talking to.
He informed me the fire was north of the 192 by Hot Springs Road. Suddenly, Tabitha was not so lethargic. "That's my neighborhood" she said, no longer quite as bored.
We cancelled running with Mike, and raced up to her house. As we went higher and higher into the mountains, the smoke got thicker. I was reminded of all the people who told me that smoke inhalation, rather than flame, is the most dangerous part of any fire. Putting that away, we scurried up the road to her house.
People were leaving the neighborhood in droves. The entire scene reminded me of stereotypical movies and cartoon scenes when the lights come on in a dark room and all the roaches scurry away to safety. Except all the roaches in this case were cars. And we were the lone roaches going back in.
About 3/4s of the way up, my "low fuel" light came on. Yup, Joe was being macho, and trying to delay getting fuel until the last possible minute. Now the mental movie had us coming back down the mountain, and running out of fuel halfway back down.
Getting up to her house, the smoke betrayed the location of the light beams, reducing visibility. As we parked, I began noticing the ash flying into the beamwidth.
Stepping outside, the smell of a really big CPAC bonfire hit almost immediately.
Tabitha got into her place, and started to go through her stuff, leisurely at first, but with increased vigor as I impressed upon her the probable need to quickly pack as if she were EVACing her place forever. (Order of importance: Medicine, Photos, Computers, Firearms, Stocks/bonds/mementos.)
We called her roommates and asked if there was anything we could get while we were in the area. Only one answered, and gave us a location and list of things we could collect for her in case she didn't make it in time.
Loading up the car, I noticed a live ember fly up over the car. I continued to load, and the roommate arrived. She was in a panic, as the smoke was noticeably thicker, with the lights from the flames in the distance getting brighter, indicating a closer proximity.
The roommate arrived with somebody from work who was helping her pack. As I mentioned earlier, she was quite distraught, and her friend was calming her down and directing her as to what was important. However, she was still so shaken up that when she loaded some papers of hers in the trunk, it spilled in the fire-induced high winds and spread into the street, blowing about, making the roommates sense of despair that much more tangible.
While loading Tabitha's stuff in the car, I very quietly took the roommate's stuff I had previously loaded in the car out, and put it in her car.
Looking back, the roommate's friend said, "we have to go. Now."
I turned to see the winds had shifted, and were coming in our direction now. The fires were close enough that they were lighting the street. Just then, a cloud of embers landed in the street.
I rushed into the house, told Tabitha we were leaving immediately, and "was that the last of it?" She said yes, made sure she had her keys, but couldn't find her phone. I wish I could tell you that I said something re-assuring and inspirational, but I believe my exact words were, "F*ck the phone. You can get a new one."
I have never been so glad in my life to hear the sweet sound of an engine turning over. Say what you will about Fords, but this engine came to life as if it was just as eager to leave this stereotype of hell on earth as we were.
Barrelling down the mountainside, I struggled to remember what the manual said about the "Low fuel" light. Did that mean 30 miles? 50 miles? Was that only until the reserve tank was used?
Traffic seemed to flow until we got to the first round-about. Because of police EVAC and blockading, traffic ground to a halt. As Tabitha used my phone to make calls, I sat there quietly sweating, and wondering why and how I had succumbed to the male necessity to stretch things out to the ultimate end. "A half tank" I resolved, "from here on out, I will always leave a half tank". I probably won't, but it's like a new year's resolution: You make them with the best of intentions.
We got onto the freeway, and I breathed a sigh of relief as we made the turn off of the 101 and onto the 217. Getting off at Hollister, I went immediately to the Exxon Station. I filled up, and called around to make sure that anyone else we knew in the area was ok. We tried to locate her cell phone, and we thought we heard it in the car, but it seemed unlikely.
Getting back to our place, we stopped at our neighbors who had a TV and asked if we could tune in to see if there was any new news about the fire. Jeff and Leah are the most awesome neighbors anyone could ever ask for. They invited us in, and when they heard about Tabitha's ordeal, immediately offered her some wine, which she readily accepted. While watching, they practically insisted that we eat some leftovers they had (a *wonderful* combination of pasta, garlic, Parmesan, and cauliflower), we sat and watched the fire devour more than a few homes.
We returned a few things to the roommate that I forgot I hadn't given her at our previous encounter. She was surprised that I had thought to bring her PCMCIA wireless card as well as her laptop and power supply (hello? geek here!), as well as a box that had Bond Certificates in it.
We then made the trek out here to my parent's place. And here I sit, at 0146 in the morning. The news reports that we read at the time seemed to suggest that, barring a miracle, my GF's house was nothing more than crispy crunchy ash.
We got out the critical stuff at the time: laptop, majority of day-to-day clothes, medicines. We even found the cell phone after a bit of digging.
But, all this would not have been possible had one person not been at his station, and helped us out: Sanford, I owe you big for this one. Next time you get up here, it's Middleton's for you, my friend.
I made a stupid mistake early on in my last Computer setup (RAID0). As a result, I lost everything when one of the drives failed. I lost all of the emails that I had kept since 1995, all the funny pictures I had made or found online, all the love letters and IM fights, all my digital homework, programming files, all the goofy stuff I had been up to since 1996.
It felt like a past that identified me with my surroundings of the time had been lost; like a part of my life now had the capacity to fade away, the digital reminders of life previous to my current one were that much more tenuous. Easily lost, and with all likelihood, only being recalled when something jogged it, either in conversation or by association.
That is how I imagine it must have felt for her as we initally considered the house a total loss.
At the time, we made some attempt to quantify it: all her books, chick flick DVDs (which means the fire wouldn't have been ALL bad), all her clothes not in my car, her chair, bed (which used to be my brother's, then mine.), would be gone.
I had to make a restart when I bid adieu to those RAID0 drives (burn in hell you faulty 150GB Maxtors). It's a sick feeling. But at some point you can do nothing more but resolve that you are going to move on from that point.
So here is to holding out hope that her house is still standing, complete with books, knick-knacks, and one way-too-big-for-her-room chair.
However, if the chick flicks were to somehow go missing, I know *I* wouldn't shed a tear. :)
(present day, now)
We came to LA ahead of schedule to spend the weekend with my parents. Tonight, while cuddling on the couch after swing dancing, I noticed the smell of fire. Having been in the proximity of fire so recently, I dismissed it as being attached to various pieces of clothing that were involved in the fire. Come to find out that it was actually the Sylmar Fire that blew directly into my parent's direction.
So, we escaped the Montecito fire, only to be in the Sylmar fire. Aren't we lucky?
Soooo.....tonight has been more eventful than I had originally planned, with circumstances too contrived to be anything but divine timing.
After an exceedingly dull day at work. (UML....whee?) I was scheduled to go running with Tabitha and Mike Beck. Sooo, we are driving down to SBCC, when I notice a wildfire kinda close to where I estimate Mike Beck's house to be.
So I give him a call.
He re-assures me in his "Don't worry, I've got the situation well in hand" way that I am so terribly jealous of, that the fire is way far away from his place.
After we park at SBCC ten minutes early, I get a second call, with him telling me that after seeing the fire, he's kinda worried himself (vindication!!!), and that he's going to run up to his place and make sure.
So, the two of us are sitting in my car, Tabitha bored waiting for Mike, and suggesting that maybe we should start the run or at least stretch out before he got there, when I think about where the fire is in relationship to Tab's home.
I called my brother and Derek, but neither of them could get to the phone. I called Justin. He was in SLO, and hadn't heard about it at all. Finally, I get ahold of Sanford. I asked if he was in front of a computer.
Then I remembered who I was talking to.
He informed me the fire was north of the 192 by Hot Springs Road. Suddenly, Tabitha was not so lethargic. "That's my neighborhood" she said, no longer quite as bored.
We cancelled running with Mike, and raced up to her house. As we went higher and higher into the mountains, the smoke got thicker. I was reminded of all the people who told me that smoke inhalation, rather than flame, is the most dangerous part of any fire. Putting that away, we scurried up the road to her house.
People were leaving the neighborhood in droves. The entire scene reminded me of stereotypical movies and cartoon scenes when the lights come on in a dark room and all the roaches scurry away to safety. Except all the roaches in this case were cars. And we were the lone roaches going back in.
About 3/4s of the way up, my "low fuel" light came on. Yup, Joe was being macho, and trying to delay getting fuel until the last possible minute. Now the mental movie had us coming back down the mountain, and running out of fuel halfway back down.
Getting up to her house, the smoke betrayed the location of the light beams, reducing visibility. As we parked, I began noticing the ash flying into the beamwidth.
Stepping outside, the smell of a really big CPAC bonfire hit almost immediately.
Tabitha got into her place, and started to go through her stuff, leisurely at first, but with increased vigor as I impressed upon her the probable need to quickly pack as if she were EVACing her place forever. (Order of importance: Medicine, Photos, Computers, Firearms, Stocks/bonds/mementos.)
We called her roommates and asked if there was anything we could get while we were in the area. Only one answered, and gave us a location and list of things we could collect for her in case she didn't make it in time.
Loading up the car, I noticed a live ember fly up over the car. I continued to load, and the roommate arrived. She was in a panic, as the smoke was noticeably thicker, with the lights from the flames in the distance getting brighter, indicating a closer proximity.
The roommate arrived with somebody from work who was helping her pack. As I mentioned earlier, she was quite distraught, and her friend was calming her down and directing her as to what was important. However, she was still so shaken up that when she loaded some papers of hers in the trunk, it spilled in the fire-induced high winds and spread into the street, blowing about, making the roommates sense of despair that much more tangible.
While loading Tabitha's stuff in the car, I very quietly took the roommate's stuff I had previously loaded in the car out, and put it in her car.
Looking back, the roommate's friend said, "we have to go. Now."
I turned to see the winds had shifted, and were coming in our direction now. The fires were close enough that they were lighting the street. Just then, a cloud of embers landed in the street.
I rushed into the house, told Tabitha we were leaving immediately, and "was that the last of it?" She said yes, made sure she had her keys, but couldn't find her phone. I wish I could tell you that I said something re-assuring and inspirational, but I believe my exact words were, "F*ck the phone. You can get a new one."
I have never been so glad in my life to hear the sweet sound of an engine turning over. Say what you will about Fords, but this engine came to life as if it was just as eager to leave this stereotype of hell on earth as we were.
Barrelling down the mountainside, I struggled to remember what the manual said about the "Low fuel" light. Did that mean 30 miles? 50 miles? Was that only until the reserve tank was used?
Traffic seemed to flow until we got to the first round-about. Because of police EVAC and blockading, traffic ground to a halt. As Tabitha used my phone to make calls, I sat there quietly sweating, and wondering why and how I had succumbed to the male necessity to stretch things out to the ultimate end. "A half tank" I resolved, "from here on out, I will always leave a half tank". I probably won't, but it's like a new year's resolution: You make them with the best of intentions.
We got onto the freeway, and I breathed a sigh of relief as we made the turn off of the 101 and onto the 217. Getting off at Hollister, I went immediately to the Exxon Station. I filled up, and called around to make sure that anyone else we knew in the area was ok. We tried to locate her cell phone, and we thought we heard it in the car, but it seemed unlikely.
Getting back to our place, we stopped at our neighbors who had a TV and asked if we could tune in to see if there was any new news about the fire. Jeff and Leah are the most awesome neighbors anyone could ever ask for. They invited us in, and when they heard about Tabitha's ordeal, immediately offered her some wine, which she readily accepted. While watching, they practically insisted that we eat some leftovers they had (a *wonderful* combination of pasta, garlic, Parmesan, and cauliflower), we sat and watched the fire devour more than a few homes.
We returned a few things to the roommate that I forgot I hadn't given her at our previous encounter. She was surprised that I had thought to bring her PCMCIA wireless card as well as her laptop and power supply (hello? geek here!), as well as a box that had Bond Certificates in it.
We then made the trek out here to my parent's place. And here I sit, at 0146 in the morning. The news reports that we read at the time seemed to suggest that, barring a miracle, my GF's house was nothing more than crispy crunchy ash.
We got out the critical stuff at the time: laptop, majority of day-to-day clothes, medicines. We even found the cell phone after a bit of digging.
But, all this would not have been possible had one person not been at his station, and helped us out: Sanford, I owe you big for this one. Next time you get up here, it's Middleton's for you, my friend.
I made a stupid mistake early on in my last Computer setup (RAID0). As a result, I lost everything when one of the drives failed. I lost all of the emails that I had kept since 1995, all the funny pictures I had made or found online, all the love letters and IM fights, all my digital homework, programming files, all the goofy stuff I had been up to since 1996.
It felt like a past that identified me with my surroundings of the time had been lost; like a part of my life now had the capacity to fade away, the digital reminders of life previous to my current one were that much more tenuous. Easily lost, and with all likelihood, only being recalled when something jogged it, either in conversation or by association.
That is how I imagine it must have felt for her as we initally considered the house a total loss.
At the time, we made some attempt to quantify it: all her books, chick flick DVDs (which means the fire wouldn't have been ALL bad), all her clothes not in my car, her chair, bed (which used to be my brother's, then mine.), would be gone.
I had to make a restart when I bid adieu to those RAID0 drives (burn in hell you faulty 150GB Maxtors). It's a sick feeling. But at some point you can do nothing more but resolve that you are going to move on from that point.
So here is to holding out hope that her house is still standing, complete with books, knick-knacks, and one way-too-big-for-her-room chair.
However, if the chick flicks were to somehow go missing, I know *I* wouldn't shed a tear. :)
(present day, now)
We came to LA ahead of schedule to spend the weekend with my parents. Tonight, while cuddling on the couch after swing dancing, I noticed the smell of fire. Having been in the proximity of fire so recently, I dismissed it as being attached to various pieces of clothing that were involved in the fire. Come to find out that it was actually the Sylmar Fire that blew directly into my parent's direction.
So, we escaped the Montecito fire, only to be in the Sylmar fire. Aren't we lucky?
Saturday, November 08, 2008
I'm breaking my own rules...
I generally don't write about politics, but recent events have forced my hand. (And yes, I am opening myself to outside critique in this public forum).
Recently, someone asked for us to view the Obama campaign with "I sincerely hope those who don't believe in Obama for whatever reason will turn their hate and pessimism into support and optimism. I hope they realize through the eyes of the people at that acceptance speech that this is a rare opportunity for positive transformation. Will it be positive? I can't say, just as anyone else can't, but I hope because at this point we have no other positive course of action. Criticize his faults as they are definitively revealed, stop focusing on what you anticipate will be his downfalls, and give the man a chance to be what so many hope he will become. I genuinely believe he will surprise us all in a positive way. Really, what productive outcome are you hoping for by constantly posting stuff like this?"
So, "c'mon guys, let's all get behind our president now. It does no good to argue and bicker!"
I posted a lengthy response, then decided it needed to be said in a larger forum,
My interest in this is not to praise or dig at Obama, please understand. My only concern is that I simply don't like the duplicity that is being shown here.
So, here we go:
When Clinton was a "Lame-duck" president, and Bush had won the election, the comparisons were already out between Bush and monkeys. His intelligence was already being questioned, and he was being portrayed as nothing more than an un-intelligent hick.
What is at root with the new urge to be civil to Obama is the Bush-bashing that began before he even set foot in the white house. With the other side taking over, the fear is that all turnabout might be fair play, now leveled at the other-side's golden boy. The roles have been switched, and now someone else can sit in the back to deride and second-guess every decision that the POTUS makes.
(The original poster brought up Halliburton as an example of Bush's negligence)
Halliburton, being a large company, with many large contracts in which other construction firms simply can't compete, would be a wise investment by any stretch of the imagination.
The reason for this is quite simple: They are the only Construction company that:
A) Can be trusted (unlike the large construction firm attached to the Bin Laden Family)
B) Can afford to provide military protection
and:
C) Can tackle large projects like city-building.
To run Haliburton's name through the mud in an attempt to bring down Bush is patently unfair. That's like claiming that EDS is evil because they are the only ones that could take on the Naval/Marine Corps Intranet project. You have to work with your best tools. It was the press who notified the president that his actions were benefiting the company his outside financial handler was investing in.
Halliburton was given a $307 million dollar no-bid contract to rebuild parts of Iraq. At first, that seems a conflict of interest. However, digging into google (search parameters, "clinton halliburton bosnia"), you'll find out that Clinton gave them a $407 million dollar no-bid deal to rebuild parts of Bosnia. And his financial advisor made larger investments in Halliburton.
(He also brought up the war)
As for the war. There were three things that lead to the war:
A) A need to get out of Saudi Arabia.
The Royal family is, at any given moment, a trigger pull away from being ousted like the Shah of Iran in 1979. They know it, the extremists know it. 9/11 was perpetuated by people who were incensed at the presence of US troops on "holy ground" (Saudi Arabia). The Royal family asked for the US to make plans to leave. It would be RIDICULOUS for the US to simply walk away from the middle east. So we needed a new base.
B) Saddam's despotism.
Saddam's flaw was not that he is a dictator or despot. What put the nail in his coffin is the fact that he was paying $25k per suicide bombing against our allied country, Israel.
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2002/04/03/world/main505316.shtml
This was stepping up pressure. In response, Israel would find the name of the beneficiary of the money, evacuate everyone from the building, bulldoze the building, then leave them alone. In this way, all that money would be spent re-building their homes. This was making things difficult for our allies, and they requested help in finding a solution.
We knew the Iraqi people were under an oppressive regime, their leader was making things difficult for our ally, and was smack dab in the middle of the middle east.
The (correct) thought was that once we were there, and the Iraqi people are able to fend for themselves (which they are starting to do), our reward would be to rent space in the middle of nowhere to conduct our base of operations.
C) WMDs
They were there, but the press was kept in the dark until it was safely transported away:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/25546334/
Thank you for playing.
Now, you are asking, "Why do I bring all this up?"
With all the Bush has done, what he has accomplished, the other side has made him out to be an insane, self-serving, maniacal dirtbag. They have second-guessed him every step of the way, and have blamed him for their own problems:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_MGT_cSi7Rs
What the Obama supporters are concerned about is this: at this point he has been put on such a high pedestal that there is no earthly way he can meet their expectations.
When that happens, they are afraid that the same snarky, blindsided, nasty, nonsensical prejudgement that they have employed on W for the past eight years will be applied to Obama.
It will be interesting to see how he handles it.
Recently, someone asked for us to view the Obama campaign with "I sincerely hope those who don't believe in Obama for whatever reason will turn their hate and pessimism into support and optimism. I hope they realize through the eyes of the people at that acceptance speech that this is a rare opportunity for positive transformation. Will it be positive? I can't say, just as anyone else can't, but I hope because at this point we have no other positive course of action. Criticize his faults as they are definitively revealed, stop focusing on what you anticipate will be his downfalls, and give the man a chance to be what so many hope he will become. I genuinely believe he will surprise us all in a positive way. Really, what productive outcome are you hoping for by constantly posting stuff like this?"
So, "c'mon guys, let's all get behind our president now. It does no good to argue and bicker!"
I posted a lengthy response, then decided it needed to be said in a larger forum,
My interest in this is not to praise or dig at Obama, please understand. My only concern is that I simply don't like the duplicity that is being shown here.
So, here we go:
When Clinton was a "Lame-duck" president, and Bush had won the election, the comparisons were already out between Bush and monkeys. His intelligence was already being questioned, and he was being portrayed as nothing more than an un-intelligent hick.
What is at root with the new urge to be civil to Obama is the Bush-bashing that began before he even set foot in the white house. With the other side taking over, the fear is that all turnabout might be fair play, now leveled at the other-side's golden boy. The roles have been switched, and now someone else can sit in the back to deride and second-guess every decision that the POTUS makes.
(The original poster brought up Halliburton as an example of Bush's negligence)
Halliburton, being a large company, with many large contracts in which other construction firms simply can't compete, would be a wise investment by any stretch of the imagination.
The reason for this is quite simple: They are the only Construction company that:
A) Can be trusted (unlike the large construction firm attached to the Bin Laden Family)
B) Can afford to provide military protection
and:
C) Can tackle large projects like city-building.
To run Haliburton's name through the mud in an attempt to bring down Bush is patently unfair. That's like claiming that EDS is evil because they are the only ones that could take on the Naval/Marine Corps Intranet project. You have to work with your best tools. It was the press who notified the president that his actions were benefiting the company his outside financial handler was investing in.
Halliburton was given a $307 million dollar no-bid contract to rebuild parts of Iraq. At first, that seems a conflict of interest. However, digging into google (search parameters, "clinton halliburton bosnia"), you'll find out that Clinton gave them a $407 million dollar no-bid deal to rebuild parts of Bosnia. And his financial advisor made larger investments in Halliburton.
(He also brought up the war)
As for the war. There were three things that lead to the war:
A) A need to get out of Saudi Arabia.
The Royal family is, at any given moment, a trigger pull away from being ousted like the Shah of Iran in 1979. They know it, the extremists know it. 9/11 was perpetuated by people who were incensed at the presence of US troops on "holy ground" (Saudi Arabia). The Royal family asked for the US to make plans to leave. It would be RIDICULOUS for the US to simply walk away from the middle east. So we needed a new base.
B) Saddam's despotism.
Saddam's flaw was not that he is a dictator or despot. What put the nail in his coffin is the fact that he was paying $25k per suicide bombing against our allied country, Israel.
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2002/04/03/world/main505316.shtml
This was stepping up pressure. In response, Israel would find the name of the beneficiary of the money, evacuate everyone from the building, bulldoze the building, then leave them alone. In this way, all that money would be spent re-building their homes. This was making things difficult for our allies, and they requested help in finding a solution.
We knew the Iraqi people were under an oppressive regime, their leader was making things difficult for our ally, and was smack dab in the middle of the middle east.
The (correct) thought was that once we were there, and the Iraqi people are able to fend for themselves (which they are starting to do), our reward would be to rent space in the middle of nowhere to conduct our base of operations.
C) WMDs
They were there, but the press was kept in the dark until it was safely transported away:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/25546334/
Thank you for playing.
Now, you are asking, "Why do I bring all this up?"
With all the Bush has done, what he has accomplished, the other side has made him out to be an insane, self-serving, maniacal dirtbag. They have second-guessed him every step of the way, and have blamed him for their own problems:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_MGT_cSi7Rs
What the Obama supporters are concerned about is this: at this point he has been put on such a high pedestal that there is no earthly way he can meet their expectations.
When that happens, they are afraid that the same snarky, blindsided, nasty, nonsensical prejudgement that they have employed on W for the past eight years will be applied to Obama.
It will be interesting to see how he handles it.
Monday, September 15, 2008
Family events...
So far, I've been to Indio, CA twice to visit my girlfriend's parents. ("Hey sweetie, how should I dress to visit your parents?" "Like you are going to meet them on the surface of the sun.")
One of the things that I am in awe of this family is their sense of family.
Let me explain.
Growing up, our family struggled to come up with common games and events that we could share as a family. "Family nights" usually ended when we all reached a creative blank as to a common interest. Mom and Dad's idea of fun was a quiet night with a board game. John and I usually wanted to eat ice cream until we were sick, then run around making insane noises until we collapsed into sugar comas.
At her family's house, it is/was assumed that any event one participates in is going to involve family in one way or another. It was a very different experience when I told Tab that I wanted to show her how to play Gumpsch (the most awesome multiplayer card game EVER!), and it was just assumed that I will be showing the whole family how to play.
It's amazing to see what happens with a home where Christ is the center from the start. I don't begrudge my parents with the way they raised me one bit. They were learning as they were going, and, all things considered, I'd say things turned out very well. But my desire would be to improve on that, to make things even more stable for my family.
And now, a note to make Kristin Calderwood sick: *ahem* I wuv you my widdle cuddly wuddly girlfriend. You are so cute, pookie, and I'm so happy to have spent this time with you so far. I don't need to drink water, for I sip from the fount of our eternal love.
Ooof. I think I just threw up a little in my mouth...
One of the things that I am in awe of this family is their sense of family.
Let me explain.
Growing up, our family struggled to come up with common games and events that we could share as a family. "Family nights" usually ended when we all reached a creative blank as to a common interest. Mom and Dad's idea of fun was a quiet night with a board game. John and I usually wanted to eat ice cream until we were sick, then run around making insane noises until we collapsed into sugar comas.
At her family's house, it is/was assumed that any event one participates in is going to involve family in one way or another. It was a very different experience when I told Tab that I wanted to show her how to play Gumpsch (the most awesome multiplayer card game EVER!), and it was just assumed that I will be showing the whole family how to play.
It's amazing to see what happens with a home where Christ is the center from the start. I don't begrudge my parents with the way they raised me one bit. They were learning as they were going, and, all things considered, I'd say things turned out very well. But my desire would be to improve on that, to make things even more stable for my family.
And now, a note to make Kristin Calderwood sick: *ahem* I wuv you my widdle cuddly wuddly girlfriend. You are so cute, pookie, and I'm so happy to have spent this time with you so far. I don't need to drink water, for I sip from the fount of our eternal love.
Ooof. I think I just threw up a little in my mouth...
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
The Urge to Give...
Today, when coming in from lunch, a good friend and co-worker came in, visibly crying, and distressed.
Concerned, I failed to notice a bandage around the forearm near their elbow.
Walking back to my desk (which is on the way to her desk), they began to tell me about how their first attempt to give blood resulted in the discovery that they can't due to small veins. This distressed them to the point of emotional breakdown.
Anyone who knows me knows that I am renowned far and wide for my inability to summon compassion for my fellow faceless man. My friends are my friends, and I will be there for them in any way I can. But otherwise, I have always felt that people in their natural form are cruel, mean, selfish animals.
My form of giving to people has been to help the ones that are trying to get extract themselves out of a given situation. "Teach a man to fish" rather than "Give a man a fish", if you will.
So to have someone in my office/cubicle crying because they were unable to help random faceless people was an odd and enlightening experience. It expressed an intense desire to better their surroundings, and not in a focused, visible way.
I suppose it is in matching with this person's giving nature. I tend to want to invest in people, to see my time spent well and things to come to fruition.
In Santa Barbara, people give in such dispassionate ways: recycling, volunteering for animal causes, putting political bumper stickers on their car, etc.
I guess this is my first collision with someone who genuinely cares about such things with passion up here.
It actually stopped me and gave me a moment of introspection. How odd.
Concerned, I failed to notice a bandage around the forearm near their elbow.
Walking back to my desk (which is on the way to her desk), they began to tell me about how their first attempt to give blood resulted in the discovery that they can't due to small veins. This distressed them to the point of emotional breakdown.
Anyone who knows me knows that I am renowned far and wide for my inability to summon compassion for my fellow faceless man. My friends are my friends, and I will be there for them in any way I can. But otherwise, I have always felt that people in their natural form are cruel, mean, selfish animals.
My form of giving to people has been to help the ones that are trying to get extract themselves out of a given situation. "Teach a man to fish" rather than "Give a man a fish", if you will.
So to have someone in my office/cubicle crying because they were unable to help random faceless people was an odd and enlightening experience. It expressed an intense desire to better their surroundings, and not in a focused, visible way.
I suppose it is in matching with this person's giving nature. I tend to want to invest in people, to see my time spent well and things to come to fruition.
In Santa Barbara, people give in such dispassionate ways: recycling, volunteering for animal causes, putting political bumper stickers on their car, etc.
I guess this is my first collision with someone who genuinely cares about such things with passion up here.
It actually stopped me and gave me a moment of introspection. How odd.
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Love, romantic movies, and chivalry...
So let's open on a standard Hollywood romantic comedy. The girl, awkward, falls for our dashing hero.
Our dashing hero makes a sweeping gesture that makes all the women in the audience go "awww".
But if it happened in real life from a guy she'd known such a short time, the title would be changed to "While you were sleeping...I filed a restraining order".
So where is the disconnect? It is amazing to look at how Hollywood distorts things after you have realized it, and see both how it affected you, and how you unknowingly applied it to your own life.
In my instance, I have been a hopeless romantic since I figured out that girls didn't have cooties. Or, if they did, I wanted their cooties.
Ok, that sounds dirty. Forget I said that.
I would hear of how girls melted over the latest romantic situation set up by hollywood, and I would plan.
The thought was to give them the experience they seemed to idolize in films and such, they would react like the movies they idolized.
Needless to say, I would creep them the f*ck out.
This is not to say that I emulated what hollywood shoveled out like a mindless consumerist automaton.
The error creeped up not in my desire to be a romantic, but in my application of those desires.
So, in my desire to NOT scare women off, I've squashed my desire to apply romance to any of my attempts to start a relationship.
Since doing that, all the material I've read, and the issues from my first relationship, point to the fact that such grandiose gestures give the impression as to being a bit of a doormat, leaving most women with nothing left to respect. No balanced girl would want to be in a relationship with such a person.
Now that I am in a relationship, it's hard to allow those muscles to be flexed again. I have a girl that seems to like spending time with me, and I with her.
I do want to express it, but I have problems putting my guard down and showing her, for fear of scaring her off with something too big.
So, in short: women need to make up their minds when it comes to expressions of initial interest and romance. Either go for the big gestures, or don't.
But stop messing us up.
Pick one.
Either you continue to point to romantic comedies and such and not get freaked out when it happens to you, or stop propping up these contrivances of actual romance.
Another thought is: where does chivalry fit into all this? And I think that deserves a second exploration.
Chivalry is not what you do to impress someone. Chivalry is when your hand is forced into doing a particular behavior that benefits someone else not out of a desire to impress them, but out of a sense of ethics and honor.
Every time I open a door for what turns out to be a radical feminist, and she responds with "I could have opened it myself, you pig" or the like, I feel like spinning them around and explaining that I'm not doing it for their benefit. It is my part in making for a more polite society, and if they don't like it, I've got a finger for them.
It's 2AM. I miss her. 'Ay me, sad hours seem long'
Ok, side note: I've never had a song make me want to buy a video game. But I might just go get Endless Ocean because of this song. The games I've reviewed seem to tell a story of a game that is just as beautiful as the song.
Our dashing hero makes a sweeping gesture that makes all the women in the audience go "awww".
But if it happened in real life from a guy she'd known such a short time, the title would be changed to "While you were sleeping...I filed a restraining order".
So where is the disconnect? It is amazing to look at how Hollywood distorts things after you have realized it, and see both how it affected you, and how you unknowingly applied it to your own life.
In my instance, I have been a hopeless romantic since I figured out that girls didn't have cooties. Or, if they did, I wanted their cooties.
Ok, that sounds dirty. Forget I said that.
I would hear of how girls melted over the latest romantic situation set up by hollywood, and I would plan.
The thought was to give them the experience they seemed to idolize in films and such, they would react like the movies they idolized.
Needless to say, I would creep them the f*ck out.
This is not to say that I emulated what hollywood shoveled out like a mindless consumerist automaton.
The error creeped up not in my desire to be a romantic, but in my application of those desires.
So, in my desire to NOT scare women off, I've squashed my desire to apply romance to any of my attempts to start a relationship.
Since doing that, all the material I've read, and the issues from my first relationship, point to the fact that such grandiose gestures give the impression as to being a bit of a doormat, leaving most women with nothing left to respect. No balanced girl would want to be in a relationship with such a person.
Now that I am in a relationship, it's hard to allow those muscles to be flexed again. I have a girl that seems to like spending time with me, and I with her.
I do want to express it, but I have problems putting my guard down and showing her, for fear of scaring her off with something too big.
So, in short: women need to make up their minds when it comes to expressions of initial interest and romance. Either go for the big gestures, or don't.
But stop messing us up.
Pick one.
Either you continue to point to romantic comedies and such and not get freaked out when it happens to you, or stop propping up these contrivances of actual romance.
Another thought is: where does chivalry fit into all this? And I think that deserves a second exploration.
Chivalry is not what you do to impress someone. Chivalry is when your hand is forced into doing a particular behavior that benefits someone else not out of a desire to impress them, but out of a sense of ethics and honor.
Every time I open a door for what turns out to be a radical feminist, and she responds with "I could have opened it myself, you pig" or the like, I feel like spinning them around and explaining that I'm not doing it for their benefit. It is my part in making for a more polite society, and if they don't like it, I've got a finger for them.
It's 2AM. I miss her. 'Ay me, sad hours seem long'
Ok, side note: I've never had a song make me want to buy a video game. But I might just go get Endless Ocean because of this song. The games I've reviewed seem to tell a story of a game that is just as beautiful as the song.
Monday, January 28, 2008
Follow up...
Remember this post?
As a refresher, it dealt with environmentalism as a religion, rather than a hard science, and gave multiple examples and reason.
Now, I opened up imdb, and read this. (At the bottom)
As a refresher, it dealt with environmentalism as a religion, rather than a hard science, and gave multiple examples and reason.
Now, I opened up imdb, and read this. (At the bottom)
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Terrorism in history and Asymmetric Warfare...
A lot of news space is being delivered to the war on terror, the war in Iraq, etc.
I thought I would start by getting at the fundamental issue: what is warfare? Or, more accurately, how does warfare end?
The Merriam-Webster definition is: "an activity undertaken by a political unit (as a nation) to weaken or destroy another"
I think in today's warfare, we can safely remove the "as a nation" portion. Al Qaeda, Shining Path, et. al. are operating without country, mobile between countries as alliances come and go.
The fact that their training centers have been destroyed reduces the quality, if not the quantity, of the fighting forces that we deal with.
However, the question still remains: what is the endgame of any war? How do you end a conflict?
Past wars have ended at the armistice table or with the routing of an army. My friend, who has forgotten more about ancient warfare than you and I will ever know, could think of no time in ancient history when any army was ever destroyed to a man. (As a side note, sometime sit down with him and discuss ancient warfare. He brings it alive, and you will be astounded by the amount of info he can recall from the top of his head).
Most wars between nations have been conceded when only 10% or so of the fighting force has been destroyed.
The Japanese in World War II understood that, which is why they expected to fight to the last man, and we expected to take huge casualties (estimates were around 1 million US casualties for Japan alone). It was only through a massive technological leap were we able to bring them to the table.
In other words, an actual victory on the battlefield means nothing if the politicians are willing to concede defeat.
Which brings us to our present conflict. Using the venerable slogan, "If it bleeds, it leads", the media is finding all the worse spots it can to report from, ignoring the successes to sell advertising space. In fact, few of the good things going on are reported from Iraq.
I am trying to get into the Marine Reserve. The recruiters I have been talking to have been telling me that the people who are completing their tours are re-requesting Iraq. That's not something the media is eager to report on.
They want the one homesick midwestern clerical Sergeant with a new baby that will make us so upset that we feel like buying the Toyota from the commercial they show right afterwards.
Now why is that such an issue? Because, as I stated before, the problem is with how wars are won. When a side feels like it is losing, historically, they have lost. The perception, not the actual facts, direct the march of warfare.
So when media, in an attempt to sell advertising, restricts themselves to only the things that are going wrong, they are losing us the war.
In this manner, we are fighting what the military is calling "asymmetric warfare". We are fighting their military troops, but they are really fighting the PERCEPTION of the war back on us back in the homefront.
They want to force us to the armistice table by weakening our resolve.
And the media is helping them by showing as much footage as they can of insurgents killing our troops.
To help Old Spice sell deodorant.
Something to remember from our grandparent's generation: There were naysayers throughout the entire course of World War II. "We'll never recover from Pearl Harbor", "The allies should concede European waters. We'll never sink the Bismarck", "The Germans can't be overrun. We should just allow them to sign another armistice.", "The Japanese will never surrender.", etc.
World War II gave us around 4 years of warfare with 407,300 military casualties at 112 times the casualty rate of our present operation, and yet we are conceding defeat.
We have lost the heart to fight on, not because our armies are not capable, but because our people are willing to give up.
And I say "give up", not "peace". Peace is not the absence of war. Living under the threat of harm or death is not a peaceful existence, even if no actual fighting is breaking out. To quote Edmund Burk: "All that is necessary for evil to prosper is for good men to do nothing."
Something else that has gotten people's goat is the treatment of "un-uniformed combatants"
Allow me a detour:
I will admit I am late in starting on Tom Clancy's Ryanverse series (I laughed out loud when Jack Ryan brags about his 2 MB PDA), I thoroughly enjoyed reading "Patriot Games", which is actually the first chronologically in the Ryan series.
In it, he makes an eerily predictive point about the stickiness in dealing with non-country-based terrorists operating within a sovereign country. In the novel, it is the Provisional IRA/ULA, but the problems are very applicable today with our issues at Guantanamo Bay: How do you deal with people who are not citizens, yet operating militarily inside your borders?
Slumping them in with common criminals is treating them too lightly for what they have done, military tribunals aren't applicable, deporting them is not an option...
The book makes an excellent point: We deal with them as pirates. Not to say we make them wear peglegs and a patch (although....), but rather, once they are people sans country, they have no rights to any country's protection, and are dealt with as right-less.
Article 19 of the Geneva Convention deals with Piracy here:
In other words, we get to make it up as we go along!
With today's news that we bagged the #1 Al Qaeda man in Iraq, the troops AND THE MISSION need our support, now more than ever, to finish the job.
One of my friends suggested a bumper sticker campaign that might work: "Pull out of Iraq. Rape rooms aren't that bad."
I thought I would start by getting at the fundamental issue: what is warfare? Or, more accurately, how does warfare end?
The Merriam-Webster definition is: "an activity undertaken by a political unit (as a nation) to weaken or destroy another"
I think in today's warfare, we can safely remove the "as a nation" portion. Al Qaeda, Shining Path, et. al. are operating without country, mobile between countries as alliances come and go.
The fact that their training centers have been destroyed reduces the quality, if not the quantity, of the fighting forces that we deal with.
However, the question still remains: what is the endgame of any war? How do you end a conflict?
Past wars have ended at the armistice table or with the routing of an army. My friend, who has forgotten more about ancient warfare than you and I will ever know, could think of no time in ancient history when any army was ever destroyed to a man. (As a side note, sometime sit down with him and discuss ancient warfare. He brings it alive, and you will be astounded by the amount of info he can recall from the top of his head).
Most wars between nations have been conceded when only 10% or so of the fighting force has been destroyed.
The Japanese in World War II understood that, which is why they expected to fight to the last man, and we expected to take huge casualties (estimates were around 1 million US casualties for Japan alone). It was only through a massive technological leap were we able to bring them to the table.
In other words, an actual victory on the battlefield means nothing if the politicians are willing to concede defeat.
Which brings us to our present conflict. Using the venerable slogan, "If it bleeds, it leads", the media is finding all the worse spots it can to report from, ignoring the successes to sell advertising space. In fact, few of the good things going on are reported from Iraq.
I am trying to get into the Marine Reserve. The recruiters I have been talking to have been telling me that the people who are completing their tours are re-requesting Iraq. That's not something the media is eager to report on.
They want the one homesick midwestern clerical Sergeant with a new baby that will make us so upset that we feel like buying the Toyota from the commercial they show right afterwards.
Now why is that such an issue? Because, as I stated before, the problem is with how wars are won. When a side feels like it is losing, historically, they have lost. The perception, not the actual facts, direct the march of warfare.
So when media, in an attempt to sell advertising, restricts themselves to only the things that are going wrong, they are losing us the war.
In this manner, we are fighting what the military is calling "asymmetric warfare". We are fighting their military troops, but they are really fighting the PERCEPTION of the war back on us back in the homefront.
They want to force us to the armistice table by weakening our resolve.
And the media is helping them by showing as much footage as they can of insurgents killing our troops.
To help Old Spice sell deodorant.
Something to remember from our grandparent's generation: There were naysayers throughout the entire course of World War II. "We'll never recover from Pearl Harbor", "The allies should concede European waters. We'll never sink the Bismarck", "The Germans can't be overrun. We should just allow them to sign another armistice.", "The Japanese will never surrender.", etc.
World War II gave us around 4 years of warfare with 407,300 military casualties at 112 times the casualty rate of our present operation, and yet we are conceding defeat.
We have lost the heart to fight on, not because our armies are not capable, but because our people are willing to give up.
And I say "give up", not "peace". Peace is not the absence of war. Living under the threat of harm or death is not a peaceful existence, even if no actual fighting is breaking out. To quote Edmund Burk: "All that is necessary for evil to prosper is for good men to do nothing."
Something else that has gotten people's goat is the treatment of "un-uniformed combatants"
Allow me a detour:
I will admit I am late in starting on Tom Clancy's Ryanverse series (I laughed out loud when Jack Ryan brags about his 2 MB PDA), I thoroughly enjoyed reading "Patriot Games", which is actually the first chronologically in the Ryan series.
In it, he makes an eerily predictive point about the stickiness in dealing with non-country-based terrorists operating within a sovereign country. In the novel, it is the Provisional IRA/ULA, but the problems are very applicable today with our issues at Guantanamo Bay: How do you deal with people who are not citizens, yet operating militarily inside your borders?
Slumping them in with common criminals is treating them too lightly for what they have done, military tribunals aren't applicable, deporting them is not an option...
The book makes an excellent point: We deal with them as pirates. Not to say we make them wear peglegs and a patch (although....), but rather, once they are people sans country, they have no rights to any country's protection, and are dealt with as right-less.
Article 19 of the Geneva Convention deals with Piracy here:
On the high seas, or in any other place outside the jurisdiction of any State, every State may seize a pirate ship or aircraft, or a ship taken by piracy and under the control of pirates, and arrest the persons and seize the property on board. The courts of the State which carried out the seizure may decide upon the penalties to be imposed, and may also determine the action to be taken with regard to the ships, aircraft or property, subject to the rights of third parties acting in good faith.
In other words, we get to make it up as we go along!
With today's news that we bagged the #1 Al Qaeda man in Iraq, the troops AND THE MISSION need our support, now more than ever, to finish the job.
One of my friends suggested a bumper sticker campaign that might work: "Pull out of Iraq. Rape rooms aren't that bad."
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Hey...it doesn't hurt anyone...
Often, when faced with the facts as to how little humans truly affect climate change, they fall back to one of their old stand-bys: "it can't hurt to help!"
Yes, yes, it does.
In case you are lazy, the push for corn and soy-based ethanol is driving the prices up, keeping people in third world countries from one of their primary food sources.
What truly grinds my gears is the fact that this goes un-noticed. Even Christians are getting on the bandwagon by renaming it Creation Care.
Watch this BBC program. De-program yourself.
Yes, yes, it does.
In case you are lazy, the push for corn and soy-based ethanol is driving the prices up, keeping people in third world countries from one of their primary food sources.
What truly grinds my gears is the fact that this goes un-noticed. Even Christians are getting on the bandwagon by renaming it Creation Care.
Watch this BBC program. De-program yourself.
Monday, April 30, 2007
Why we should be intolerant....
Johann Hari has a brilliant column on the travesties being done in German courts in the name of "multi-culturalism".
The upshot is that Muslim immigrants who manage to screw up enough courage to approach German courts claiming "my husband is beating the tar out of me" are being told, "Hey, it's your culture. I would hate to enforce my cultural stereotypes of women's rights onto your glorious culture. That leads to Crusades and stuff. Besides, you knew this going into a muslim marriage. Don't forget to shield your face with your hands."
On the one hand, I feel very very sorry for these women. They are hoping for a better life, and are being sold upriver in the name of being politically correct.
On the other hand, this puts the oh-so-tolerant left in the rare position of having to piss off one or all of its constituent members: Either the very powerful women's movement is going to have to sit by and watch their foreign sisters get beat, or they will have to denounce a religious practice, making them seem intolerant.
Personally, I'm hoping for muslim women to rise up and institute a smackdown on these radical Imams. Wouldn't that be humiliating?
It'd be Mujaheddin brothers vs. the Menopause sisters. Sounds like pay-per-view.
The upshot is that Muslim immigrants who manage to screw up enough courage to approach German courts claiming "my husband is beating the tar out of me" are being told, "Hey, it's your culture. I would hate to enforce my cultural stereotypes of women's rights onto your glorious culture. That leads to Crusades and stuff. Besides, you knew this going into a muslim marriage. Don't forget to shield your face with your hands."
On the one hand, I feel very very sorry for these women. They are hoping for a better life, and are being sold upriver in the name of being politically correct.
On the other hand, this puts the oh-so-tolerant left in the rare position of having to piss off one or all of its constituent members: Either the very powerful women's movement is going to have to sit by and watch their foreign sisters get beat, or they will have to denounce a religious practice, making them seem intolerant.
Personally, I'm hoping for muslim women to rise up and institute a smackdown on these radical Imams. Wouldn't that be humiliating?
It'd be Mujaheddin brothers vs. the Menopause sisters. Sounds like pay-per-view.
Sunday, April 29, 2007
Let's make fun of disturbed dead people!!
Well, everyone is now psycho-analyzing the ass-hat that shot up Virginia Tech.
However, what everybody might not know is that Mr. Cho was also a burgeoning playwright.
The fine folks at Somethingaweful.com managed to get ahold of one of his manuscripts and have reviewed it for your pleasure.
What a whack-job.
However, what everybody might not know is that Mr. Cho was also a burgeoning playwright.
The fine folks at Somethingaweful.com managed to get ahold of one of his manuscripts and have reviewed it for your pleasure.
What a whack-job.
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Success Means You Aren't Doing Something Right...
Yup, Billy and I are disagreeing again.
This time, he's quoting This blog with the following statement:
To be fair, the rest of the blog that Billy quotes goes on to excuse itself from its inflammatory stance, but as Billy has chosen to pull up and talk about that one quote, I will do likewise.
Reading and re-reading this post, I am reminded of something my Mom used to tell me:
"Don't over-spiritualize being poor"
And she didn't mean "broke", "On a down-cycle", "experiencing a negative cash flow situation". She means f---ing poor. We're talking about a woman who at one point had to decide if buying a 10 cent pen would break her budget.
Allow me to give a little history lesson about our denomination (Foursquare).
WAAAY back in the day, Aimee Semple McPherson started a radical movement of faith called Foursquare.
It bloomed.
Like, a lot.
At one point, her soup kitchens were feeding more than the government's.
After some controversies inside the church, and after Aimee's death, things kind of waned.
In that period, the Foursquare movement died down. The huddled Foursquare masses hunkered down.
Enter Pastor Jack Hayford. Jack's gift was to bring Foursquare out of its exclusivity and make it accessible for all.
Some people did NOT like him for that. He had shifted the status of Foursquare for a small people who fancied themselves as the few, committed, misunderstood devotees, who know the whole truth. Suddenly everyone is at the party.
Success and having everyone in on a movement of God does not make it "consumerism". It means you have made something that people can identify with.
Wherein lies the problem with Mega-Churches?
Is it the fact that a lot of people come together in the name of Christ?
Is it the fact that the pooled resources of many can make for powerful contributions and provision?
Here, let me learn you some edumikation: It's a cultural instinct of us as U.S. citizens to always root for the underdog.
However, sometimes, the underdog isn't right.
So, with the new "emerging church" coming on the scene, they have a need to viciously rail against the "mega-churches". Otherwise, how can they, the small, few, misunderstood, be able to justify their continued course of action despite the lack of apparent interest?
Jesus was NOT the underdog. Yes, I said it. He was the epitome of someone who has everything under control, knows what is going to happen, and does what He needs to do.
Throughout the Bible, God consistently chooses the underdog. But they are humble underdogs. If Mr. Hipps' comment holds sway on the course of the emergent church, it will be destroyed from within by those who think any church that grows too big is "consumerism".
This time, he's quoting This blog with the following statement:
The emerging church used to say mega-churches are going away. They’re not going away. They’re predicated on the metaphor of consumerism. And as long as consumerism is the dominant mode of our culture mega-churches will always thrive. Some are saying that this next generation hates that. They don’t. They love it.
-Shane Hipps
To be fair, the rest of the blog that Billy quotes goes on to excuse itself from its inflammatory stance, but as Billy has chosen to pull up and talk about that one quote, I will do likewise.
Reading and re-reading this post, I am reminded of something my Mom used to tell me:
"Don't over-spiritualize being poor"
And she didn't mean "broke", "On a down-cycle", "experiencing a negative cash flow situation". She means f---ing poor. We're talking about a woman who at one point had to decide if buying a 10 cent pen would break her budget.
Allow me to give a little history lesson about our denomination (Foursquare).
WAAAY back in the day, Aimee Semple McPherson started a radical movement of faith called Foursquare.
It bloomed.
Like, a lot.
At one point, her soup kitchens were feeding more than the government's.
After some controversies inside the church, and after Aimee's death, things kind of waned.
In that period, the Foursquare movement died down. The huddled Foursquare masses hunkered down.
Enter Pastor Jack Hayford. Jack's gift was to bring Foursquare out of its exclusivity and make it accessible for all.
Some people did NOT like him for that. He had shifted the status of Foursquare for a small people who fancied themselves as the few, committed, misunderstood devotees, who know the whole truth. Suddenly everyone is at the party.
Success and having everyone in on a movement of God does not make it "consumerism". It means you have made something that people can identify with.
Wherein lies the problem with Mega-Churches?
Is it the fact that a lot of people come together in the name of Christ?
Is it the fact that the pooled resources of many can make for powerful contributions and provision?
Here, let me learn you some edumikation: It's a cultural instinct of us as U.S. citizens to always root for the underdog.
However, sometimes, the underdog isn't right.
So, with the new "emerging church" coming on the scene, they have a need to viciously rail against the "mega-churches". Otherwise, how can they, the small, few, misunderstood, be able to justify their continued course of action despite the lack of apparent interest?
Jesus was NOT the underdog. Yes, I said it. He was the epitome of someone who has everything under control, knows what is going to happen, and does what He needs to do.
Throughout the Bible, God consistently chooses the underdog. But they are humble underdogs. If Mr. Hipps' comment holds sway on the course of the emergent church, it will be destroyed from within by those who think any church that grows too big is "consumerism".
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
I'm famous! Sort of....
Ystrday (Tusday), I got into th Santa Barbara Nws Prss...thy did a fature on social danc in the ara, and I was fatured on the covr of the "Lif" sction.
Thy mis-splld my last nam. Can you guss which lttr was lft out?
Thy mis-splld my last nam. Can you guss which lttr was lft out?
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